Sunday, June 24, 2012

Marriage, the Chicago way

Athol has some advice for this husband, who seems to be going about handling a problematic situation more or less the right way.:
My wife’s queen bee friend talked a bunch of single and married friends into a five day trip flying to a major city. I expressed my extreme displeasure with this since they are doing tons of stuff I would love to do there with her.

I have decided to treat this as a shit test and am agreeing and amplifying now that I have failed to talk her out of it (they scheduled it pretty quickly without much more than a couple of mentions). I told her I am great now with separate vacations (very enthusiastic). I have also talked with the other husbands and we are planning a similar trip like a Caribbean trip. Her first hearing of this left her scrambling for reasons for me not to go. She even backed off of doing other girls birthday trips where earlier she had alluded.
First of all, there would appear to be problems in the marriage that the big trip is bringing out of the woodwork, not only with the reader's marriage, but some of the others as well. However, one mistake was made. So long as the husbands are planning a rival trip, it shouldn't have been to the Caribbean, but to Thailand. Just to, you know, see those fascinating ancient temples and all.

Ness: I want to get Capone! I don't know how to do it.

Malone: You wanna know how to get Capone? They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That's the Chicago way!


If a group of wives are determined to go on such a "get our groove back" trip over their husbands' objections, at least one of those marriages is very likely on the downhill slide. The problem isn't necessarily the trip per se, but rather, the disrespect and lack of consideration involved.

The destination matters too. If it's the Caribbean, you might as well sell the house and have the papers waiting for her when she gets back. Countries with beaches and impoverished Africans are the middle-aged female equivalent of Bangkok and the Philippines; a survey of female tourists to three Dominican resorts found that one-third of them admitted to having had sex with the locals.

However, it's important not to judge women for doing this, since they're not doing it for sexual reasons, but because they are economic philanthropists.

All the respondents said they did not pay for the sexual services that men provided during their vacations at resorts. But many of the women explained that they paid money for sex as they treated it as economic aid to the resort staff or even the local economy.

Note that even when a woman is paying for prostitutes, the hamster spinneth.

28 comments:

The CronoLink said...

Dunno about Thailand, man. They always warn me about the "traps".

Luke said...

Thailand...

I remember reading that that nation had a relatively low rate of HIV -- and one of the highest rate of increase. Wait a few years, it'll be like Haiti or South Africa with every 3rd native adult being positive. F that...

Spacebunny said...

a survey of female tourists to three Dominican resorts found that one-third of them admitted to having had sex with the locals.

Unless these were married women, I fail to see the relevance to the topic. Middle-aged divorcee? Not exactly shocking.

SouthTX said...

"Bangkok has him now, he will never be found." Hangover 2 was pretty funny too. Watched that at work also. We all laughed our asses off.

Stickwick said...

The total lack of empathy some women have for their husbands' concerns blows me away.

Athol talks about how any attempt to stop the trip will be seen by the wife as "controlling." I like his response to this, but at the same time I don't get how the husband exerting some control is necessarily a bad thing. Maybe I'm a weirdo, but I like it when my husband takes an active role in my life. The other day he actually forbade me to do something, and to me that just means he cares.

Stingray said...

Maybe I'm a weirdo, but I like it when my husband takes an active role in my life. The other day he actually forbade me to do something, and to me that just means he cares.

It's not just you. I fully agree. I think some of this also stems from trust. My husband trusts me to not do stupid stuff and to see him when I have a question about it. My husband, too, has forbidden me to do things and while there are a lot of underlying emotions when he does this, the biggest emotion by far is . . . pride.

Stickwick said...

You're a little further along the wifely evolutionary path than I am. My husband doesn't trust me not to do stupid stuff, but he does trust me not to do evil and destructive stuff. :^)

Stingray said...

Eh, well, yeah. Same here. I will do stupid stuff until the day I die. But it's all harmless and usually good for a really great laugh.

stg58 said...

It isn't a bad thing at all to be a little controlling. After all, most women have no ability to sense danger, and must be controlled by their husbands to keep them out of real, physical danger. I have to do that with my mom. When my dad was alive, he would gently tell my mom that some harebrained scheme of hers was not happening. Now I have to do it. My mom has spirit, just no spider sense.

My wife was going to see my oldest son at church camp. She tried to leave wearing very short jean shorts. I told her to change, as what she was wearing was very appropriate for me, but not to go to a church camp. Am I a jerk, possibly, but I don't care.

Carlotta said...

I just can't imagine this entering my mind. I don't get what the hell has happened to the American Married Women. It seems she has completely lost her mind. No sense and no sense of self-preservation.

I have seen women I know who are married "go out with the girls" and get drunk and dance with other men. I am no prude, and I am only in my early thirties, but when was this ever something MARRIED women or men did?

I watched Bridezilla in pure shock the other day. It seems the average American women is a drunk, brawling, fat, slutty toddler with delusions of grandeur. Why don't more men run?

stg58 said...

They are...

Toby Temple said...

Countries with beaches and impoverished Africans are the middle-aged female equivalent of Bangkok and the Philippines.

You certainly got that right.

SouthTX said...

I think it takes a bit of maturity though in a Man. When my wife and I were dating in our teens. Having gone to Houston to see my older sister and I got lost. I stepped out to ask directions in a bad part of town. Immediately we got into a lethal situation. My first instinct was to grab the short 12 gauge I carried in my truck. At that point she was more mature than I was and begged me to just us get out of there. Now seeing I was against 5-1 odds. I'm glad she did. I have never said she was dumb.

SouthTX said...

I'm just saying to girls, settle early. He might be stupid at this point. But dynamics change. You will be glad.

Joe said...

What an indiscrete, stupid woman... and what a poor choice of friends.

My wife sometimes vacations alone - with her family, who live 4,000 miles distant. I can't drop what I'm doing to go stay with her dad, so she does. No worries. I vacation alone too sometimes - with a half dozen buddies. We go compete in adventure races or mountain bike in back country of the Rockies. I don't think she has any problems with that.

But if I went to Vegas with a dozen guys, half of them single? She'd be right to be concerned.

Anonymous said...

It has been for thousands of years it is only a dance! Check out social history of the western world. The upper classes and nobility have always been social.

SouthTX said...

Speaking of Chicago. I in my youth got to fire a full auto Thompson. That was fun.

Rippin Richie said...

This grips me more than would a muddy old river or reclining Buddha.

AXCrom said...

Having lived in Chicago for a time I would totally light out for Bangkok, at least I am being honest about what would happen...

LP2021 Bank of LP Work in Progress said...

What kind of hairbrained scheme is this? Looks like the wife is getting talked into a fools errand with a bunch of locals who will look at them like lunch meat.

No travels, no trips and no spending.

You know the problem with modern women? They have 3 dangerous things; the vote, the drivers license and the damn credit cards.

SouthTX said...

The Mrs sometimes has to travel to get her CEU's. She won't go unless I go along. I get a vacation. I am glad to have inlaws who will take care of their Grandkids while we go.

SouthTX said...

Separate vacations? No way. If we want to take to take a trip, we just put the kids into adjoining room. Lock the doors when we feel the need.

Aeoli Pera said...

Ha! Lyrical genius.

Michael Maier@work said...

"However, it's important not to judge women for doing this, since they're not doing it for sexual reasons, but because they are economic philanthropists."

Yeah, and the wife in "Extract" felt "sorry" for the poolboy she banged dozens of times in a few days.

SouthTX said...

Wife knows if she doesn't want me wandering. She had better give no excuse.

Nick Steves said...

But many of the women explained that they paid money for sex as they treated it as economic aid to the resort staff or even the local economy.

Lord Keynes would be so proud of them!

Axe Head said...

Mudsharks!

Randy said...

This entire thing screams insecurity from the guy. If you are worried about your gf cheating on you on a 5 day trip with her friends anywhere, your relationship is probably either ruined or you are super insecure.

What are the women supposed to do to make their husbands happy? What is the proper way they should behave?

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